Self Care, Self Love

Posted: August 5th, 2021

“Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you” – Katie Reed

It is easy to get so caught up in the beautiful chaos of life – the day-to-day grind, the planning for trips – the suffering of the hangovers and the preparation it takes to get ready to rally so we can do it all over again. We usually do not realize we are burning out until we have snapped at 5 random strangers, told our significant other to get bent and maybe screamed at the innocent bystander for breathing in and out a little too loud. In my defense, it was over the top breathing – I mean, ok we get it buddy - you are choking but lets just do the hand motions please.

Our feet hit the floor and before we can even take that first sip of morning goodness, our minds are racing with what we must do, what we forgot to do and how we are going to do it all. Before we know it, the day is almost over. If you are like me, you will find the good in each day, the laughs, the tears, the screams and maybe the thought of throat punching someone (surely each day is not all sunshine and roses) but what about the time you take for just you. Alone. To get lost in your thoughts, daydream, check out what is around you that you may have never known about, to read a book, to experience something new and relaxing. When was the last time you went for a walk around some stores and took yourself out alone? Sounds kind of weird to those that have not ever done that.

Being a part of the lifestyle, I have had the absolute honor of meeting the most amazing people. I get to hear their stories, listen to their advice, and learn something new every day. One of my dear friends, told me a couple years back to take myself out to dinner. Just sit at a restaurant and learn to enjoy my own company. I am sure you can imagine the look on my face, it was like he was speaking a foreign language. So, I decided that I would take that advice and I am so glad I did. I have learned to just take the time I need to take care of myself – you learn what you like, you learn to relax, and you do not have to over think a conversation or get into who did not do the dishes or what you are going to do for the weekend. You just get to look around and be comfortable in your own shoes and thoughts. So where do these little baby steps of alone time take you? To the realization that it is ok to be spontaneous all by yourself and try something new, even if it means doing it alone for the record, it is ok and good to take that alone time.

“We often forget to consider the small details when we are looking at the bigger picture” – HW

It has taken years learning how to just tuck away from the fast-paced world of work and life that I am able to slow down and take slower steps. In this amazing little journey – something amazing happened. I went to run into the grocery store – ya know always in a hurry to do something – and I noticed the new Day Spa that had just opened. I looked at the grocery store and I looked at the Spa, oh you know where I took my happy ass to. Sure did, walked right in there and figured I would do an hour massage and then she asked if I wanted a exfoliate shower table.. What in the hell.. Well folks – Life.. Changing… LIFE CHANGING. So having absolutely no one to answer to and not a care in the moment – I added the exfoliate shower table. Let me be clear on this, I will never go back to “just a massage again” and if you see me at the local strip joint trying to make some extra dollar bills – go have this done and I assure you, you will be learning how to clap your ass for a few extra dollars, #NoHoeLeftBehind #timeforonlyfans. So after this amazing new experience, feeling relaxed and rejuvenated  – I decided that I really did not need to go grocery shopping (yet anyways) and I was just going to wander for a bit. I met some people that will be bringing something pretty cool to Secrets – I had the best slice of NY style pizza and came home and picked up the book that author Mac Styles wrote, Sex, Chicken and CoCo butter. Whether you are a reader or not, I highly recommend his book. Unfiltered and raw emotions with his personal journey being a part of the lifestyle and where it has taken him. It opened my eyes to the realities that some face and those that have it in their history, but also to my own journey in the lifestyle. It is a great opportunity to really reflect on yourself and your partner(s).  Much love and respect Mac for sharing your story for the world to read and leaving a copy for us to enjoy. I told you I was excited to curl up with a book and I appreciate you helping me out on that.

If you have a partner, talk it over with them about taking that time to be alone, and the biggest challenge I would give you – be ALONE. That means no cellphone, no girl or guy chats, snapchats, tinder, bumbles, bitcoin, social media, emails, a friend tagging along – just you and your peace of mind to enjoy the simple things around you. Then when you find these cool new places, take your partner, grab your friends, and take another relaxing trip. Oh and no shopping, just walk around and look without being in a hurry. Clear your mind, give yourself time to have some mental clarity. Guys this goes for you too – now some of you may not have a single desire to go get an exfoliation shower table massage – (you are missing out) but the whole fishing, hunting, off roading, manscaping the nails and feet. Yes gentleman, y’all need to go ahead and take your alone trip to the spa and get those nails cut down and filed with a curve.. Next time you go do the shocker maneuver on the ladies – they will thank you. Don’t be afraid to get some waxing done either – go ahead it doesn’t hurt that bad.

I know that if I did not start the new chapter of learning to be alone a couple years ago, (big thanks to the guidance from my dear friend Mayor George on that advice) – this is most likely not how my night would have ended. I would have done the same routine and still felt overwhelmed at all the things I did not get accomplished or knowing me I would have made another wonderful life choice and went out to get completely trashed beyond recognition and spend the next 3 days recovering from poor, but fun, life decision making.