Why the Lifestyle Works for Our Marriage

Posted: September 5th, 2019

My husband, Joshua, and I met at a Lifestyle party, so for us it has never been an issue that we needed to address. It just kind of is. 

I have always been “adventurous” and a bit of a nudist, but I wasn’t aware of the actual existence of these alternative lifestyle groups. Until the night I met Josh. And honestly, it just felt natural. I felt as if I had finally found my “tribe” of people. 

For us, the Lifestyle works because of trust, respect, and intimacy. Joshua says that we are just “a more enlightened group of people,” and I honestly agree. The Lifestyle encourages Joshua and I to say what’s on our minds, to openly communicate with each other about what we want (or don’t want) sexually, and to just in general be better teammates. It has infused our relationship with respect and trust - not only trusting each other, but trusting ourselves - and has allowed us to explore our individual and outgoing personalities. All, while safely being able to come back to my teammate for the love and support that only a husband can give. I believe you really do have to have a certain mindset to be in a successful LS relationship - you have to be wiling to allow different levels of intimacy into your life, and to realize that not all intimacy is sexual.

And not all sex is intimate. Sometimes its just dirty and illicit, and that’s great too! The freeing thing about LS is that everyone is open-minded. Your kink might not be my kink,  but no one’s judging. For the first time in my life I feel completely at ease with myself, and I have the Lifestyle to thank for that. 

To us, the most important thing about LS are the friends that we have made. Over the past three years on my Lifestyle journey, I have definitely met some of the most vibrant, honest, and just plain friendly people. In fact, one of my very favorite aspects of the LS are the extraordinary women who I have met. Never in my adult life have I taken a bubble bath with another woman, and now I do frequently. And I love it! Chatting, sipping wine, scrubbing each other’s back…. it’s like a grown up sleep over. With sex. And kissing. And nibbling. But more than that, we love and respect each other. 

To me, that’s what the Lifestyle is all about. Love and respect. Self love, matrimonious love, and love for others - people who I may have never met if it wasn’t for the Lifestyle. I am still amazed by how LS brings together so many strong and talented people, from such diverse backgrounds and beliefs. Yet somehow we are all drawn together by our open-minded views of sexuality. 

Joshua really was onto something when he called us enlightened! 

- Aerin Yates xoxox

Want to share your LS experience? Email me today at aerin@secretsfl.com